Army Of Three and a Half
by Spiritual Stone
Summary: [One Shot] They awaited the Hylian Army across the field, bored. One of them asked for a reminder as to why they were going against them. Link gave a reason of his own. Bad summary, but good story.


_**Army of Three and a half**_

The three faced the army, perhaps a little more laid back then they should be. Ladni yawned, and looked Link's way.

"So," he grumbled, "How many are there?"

Link put his hand in his pocket and brought out a folded piece of paper, which he handed to him. Ladni rolled his eyes and squinted at the letters. He was a bear, for Din's sake! He wasn't supposed to be able to read!

"Three hundred archers, twenty knights, two hundred soldiers, four hundred guards, and ten magicians. Which leads to . . ." Ladni did his math, and blinked twice in amazement. "Nine hundred and thirty."

"Never realised there were so many Hylians." Milne grumbled, examining her sharp nails, "And if I assume right, that's just starters, right?"

Link nodded. _There'll be reinforcements from Holodrum, Labrynna, and Calatia. Definitely not today, since the countries haven't actually replied to the requests for help, so yeah. Its starters_.

The bears groaned.

Tired of standing, the three sat down and enjoyed the scene before the war began, which was when the temper of the Hylians snapped. And with the way the three were acting, it wouldn't be too long before they charged. "Why are we doing this again?" Milne asked as she lay down on the hill they were situated on. Ladni looked at her sceptically, before saying,

"The Hylians declared war on the rest of the races for killing the Last Hero, remember?"

Link snorted. He unsheathed the Master Sword from his back and glanced down on it, memories of a Hylian Knight working for Gannon himself, whirring through his head. Mark, killing off his mentor and the Hero of Destiny with his evil and trickery. Link snorted again.

_It sucks being a mute._ Link complained through his magic piece of paper, which was held onto the grassy hill with the help of a rock. The two bears looked down on it and laughed.

Link laughed too.

"Well, at least you have something to take it out on." Ladni leered, motioning towards the army, "Poor ignorant bastards; they don't know who they're messing with."

Link shrugged, grinning as the words from his paper disappeared and was replaced with the words: _Well, you can't blame them. They think somewhere in that army they have the Hero on their side. Not the other way around._

Ladni grinned mockingly and flexed his fingers that were wrapped in silver gauntlets, eager to go use his magic. "When will they attack? I'm dieing to give them a lesson."

Link laughed; the only thing he was allowed to use his voice for. _Take it easy, Holder of Power. We have a full day to show them what we have up our sleeve._

"Oh, both of you." Milne scolded, "You should be ashamed of yourselves, anticipating kicking Hylian ass."

The males laughed so hard they were sure the Hylians across the field could hear. And they hoped so, too. They were beginning to become a little impatient. Milne huffed as the two calmed down, wheezing.

"Link. What would Naia say if she saw you like this?" Link grinned and motioned towards the paper.

_She'd kick me probably. But hey; she ain't here._

Milne smirked, and replied, "Yes she is. Half of her, anyway." From behind the anthropomorphized female bear, a yellow ball of light whizzed towards the Hylian. Link fell back in astonishment as the soft aura of the fairy nudged at his cheek, its wings giving a purring sound.

The Wielder of The Master Sword; Hero of Courage, began to panic.

"Hey, don't worry. She gave birth two weeks ago; she'll be fine, using this amount of magic." Milne assured as the fairy settled on his shoulder, "And Trail's behind you, if you haven't noticed." She added, giggling into her furry hands. Link rolled his eyes as the purple fairy continued bombarding into his head. Yep, his wife was displeased.

Ladni laughed and pointed at Link with his crude finger, saying "Serves you right, for marrying her."

Link stuck his tongue out at the proud bear, threatening through his piece of paper that he'd somehow find a way to keep him in his half Hylian form. Ladni, using the Hylian-like hand as an advantage, did a rude gesture. Milne slapped him on his bandana-ed head.

"_Okay now. Back to business."_ The yellow fairy – which Naia had named Chat, as in talk – began in a serious voice, _"Today, all we're going to do is catch people. Do you guys remember where we put our lines?"_

"_Because you better have."_ The purple fairy, Trail muttered, proving that she-he-it was the Warrior of Wisdom's unpleasant side. The three nodded an 'aye'.

"_Good." _Chat nodded/bobbed in the air in approval. _"Ladni, I know you really want to kick serious ass today, but we can't. That's for when the big armies arrive. And you know darn well that we need to save our energy."_

"Aye, aye, captain." Ladni grumbled, noting the frown on Link's face. The bear-man smirked.

"_No, Link. The twins aren't with me. They're sleeping in the other room."_ Trail muttered exasperatedly,_ "Geez, it's not as if I have to swear even in front of the kids. Don't you trust me?"_ Link cocked an eyebrow. _"Yeah, yeah. Just shut up, will you?"_

The three chuckled and glanced over to where the Hylians were beginning to mobilize, and they stood in anticipation.

"_Mind if we stay in your hat, Link?" _Chat asked, even when Trail had already slipped in. Link grinned and helped the yellow orb in, and once done, began swinging his sword in anticipation. His green tunic highlighted his Fire Amulet and hid his Forest Medallion as it rested across his chest, both magic ready to pounce on the army beyond.

He glanced over to where Ladni was stretching his legs, muttering that the loose, blue trousers were constricting. He rolled the hems up to reveal the Golden gauntlets that nestled into his feet, magic deforming it to fit him. His orange sleeveless vest revealed the Water Medallion and camouflaged the Spirit Medallion like a scorpion in the sand, which if used right, was very much like the description.

Milne swung the Megaton Hammer with her left hand and readied herself, the hook and long shot dangling on her right hip. Her sky-blue blouse matching her long white skirt did nothing to hide or shame her Earth and Wind amulets' glory.

Link swung the Master Sword again, vaguely giving his own answer to Milne's almost forgotten question.

"_Why are we doing this again?"_

He began to remember a certain conversation with a certain abdicated Princess. A Princess by the name of Zelda.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Link." Zelda greeted, running over to the twenty-year-old, "Dear Nayru, I cannot believe father is going to do this!"

Link wordlessly grunted. He was still furious at the King. War without any provocation! There hadn't been any contact between the races for at least fifteen years, damn it! And the Goddesses had sworn that there wouldn't be any more trouble. Hm. Guess they meant through Dark Magic.

Useless bitches.

Link hastily apologized through his mind; he didn't want to 'leave' again.

Zelda lead him to the living room of her estate, ranting on about how the King's idea was repulsive, and all that nick-knack. She sat him on a chair and so did she, asking a servant to get them a cup of tea each. Zelda sighed as the servant left.

"Oh Link. Hyrule is in danger. Will you save this country and its civilians once again?" She asked, almost as a formality. She knew he had to do it; it was his duty as holder as the Triforce of courage.

Link pulled out his magic paper and gave it to her. The Princess – Link wondered if she ought to be called 'Princess'. After all, she _was_ in her late thirties or early forties – and read.

_Frankly, Milady, I really can't be bothered. _

Zelda's blue eyes widened in alarm. But before she could protest, the words disappeared and were replaced with several more.

_Look. Since I was fifteen, I had to fight a giant Scorpion, a Fire breathing Grasshopper, an army of suicidal dodongos, a giant man – or Zora – eating squid, a massive and not to mention disgusting living, moving sea cucumber, demons that used souls as weapons, and . . . . well, you get the idea. _

The words disappeared and were replaced again, only because there wasn't any space left on the piece of paper.

_Back then, I fought because I had a proper reason. For my first adventure, I fought because I needed revenge. The reason differed every time I accomplished something new, but yeah. It was something along those lines. The second, to get a friend back home, and just for the hell of it, and life starting to get a little boring by then. The third, because I hated the uncertainty. The fourth – in which I was at Hevean's door – so I could finish my carrier as a Hero. But now, I have this._

Link motioned towards the window, where the civilians were getting along with their business, unaware of the proposal that was to be held at the castle tomorrow at noon. Zelda looked also, before coming back to his piece of paper.

_In one of my adventures with my friends, we had to deal with a war. And frankly, it wasn't fun. It took the whole damn Triforce for them to stop fighting. In Hyrule's case, it's going to need a lot more than that. Like my wife said; they don't know what they're fighting for._

Zelda looked up from the paper, surprised. A twenty year old having . . .

"A Wife?"

It was Link's turn to look surprised. Thinking the reaction odd, she looked down at the paper.

_Uh . . . you know? Naia? Red hair, orange eyes . . .? Triforce of Wisdom . . . ? . . . . Pregnant . . .? _

_We didn't tell you?_

Zelda looked at him, astonished. "You got a nineteen year-old pregnant?"

He frowned. _What's it to you? It's not like you're related to her or anything. And besides, she's the same age as me. Also, her relatives were quite happy we were having kids. Especially her aunt. Her cousins were a little shocked, though but. . ._

"Link. Please. We're falling off the topic."

_Oh. Right. War._

Link's face contorted into hate as his fist clenched. He closed his eyes as if to rid of something that plagued his mind. Trying to fathom what was going on in his head, Zelda looked down onto the piece of paper. What met her gaze were hazy pictures which blurred in and out, and on them that she recognized most were swords, spears, arrows, axes, squirts of what looked like ink flew in blobs over the page. And . . . feathers?

The pictures finally cleared, and all that was left was a blank parchment. The tea came and both host and guest thanked the man, and it was only when he closed the door behind him that words appeared on the parchment.

_War just doesn't involve soldiers. They involve husbands, brothers, sons, friends. Innocent children, wives, families. Civilians are just pawns for a game between players that call themselves royalty, dukes, lords, whatever! A good worker – against his own will – would have to become a murderer of another. And you know what? Hyrule isn't the victim here. It's her Lord, the King and excuse my language, your bloody father that set this up! You expect me to help in this!?_

And even though written, his voice from the page screamed with rage. The princess looked up with tears in her eyes, to find that the Wielder of courage and the Master Sword was standing. The next words on the page burned her heart.

_I never liked being the 'Hero'. I went with it till now, but not anymore._

Link was walking over to the corner to pick up his weapon, and Zelda despaired in her chair. Until movement caught her eyes.

_As far as anyone is concerned, I'm a rogue._

What . . .?

_I have a wife and kid to protect; I'm going to stop this war. But remember._ Link whirred around and pointed a finger at her, which, if she were still royalty, would've sent him straight to the gallows.

_I'm not on Hyrule's side. I'm only involved in this because there're friends here I want and need to protect. The bears, some Hylians, choice friends in all races . . . people like that. 'Do it for the greater good'? Shove that. I'm doing this for personal gain. And if it comes to Hyrule's doom, I don't care as long as my friends are okay. _

_I only protect who I want. Remember that._

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

An arrow with a letter strapped onto it embedded itself onto the ground only a step away, and Link pulled the parchment open.

* * *

_An army of three will do nothing to stop the Justice Hyrule so deserves. Surrender now and we may work something out.

* * *

_

Link smirked. He flipped the parchment over and scribbled a reply.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The arrow came back, and the lieutenant unfolded it.

* * *

_Psh. As if man. _

_You're the one who's not going to stand a chance. _

_Look, all we want is a good Hyrule, where you don't have worry about which race you come from and stuff. But since you're not going to give us that, I, no, we_ _are going to fight for it._

_P.s. We're thinking you'll last an hour at the most. Want to come into the bet?_

_Love from your enemies, The Holders of the Triforce._

_P.s.s. We're not an army of three. We're an army of three and a half._

* * *

The King roared at the response. 

"Attack!"

Finally. The three and a half waited for the army, the excitement of putting the enemy to the floor overwhelming them. On horses the enemy surged forward, exciting the warriors more and more. Oh, just imagine the looks on their faces . . . !

They rushed to the first line.

* * *

**Helloo! Thanks for reading this one shot. I appreciate it. :)**

**Now. I have come to the conclusion that what these people are trying to say is a little confusing, so, I have decided to breifly explain it, without destroying the story itself.**

**This is an extract, you could say, of a story I intend to put onto the net, except I have to finish my other stuff to actually get going. Anyway,**

**Link: No explaining needed, I'm sure.**

**Ladni: Black bear. Triangular birthmark on his forehead. Can turn half Hylian. When he does that, his fur goes reddish, like another type of bear, but i can't remember off the top of my head, so yeah. You get the idea right? No more explaining for this fella.**

**Milne: Another black bear. Female. Can turn half Hylian also, except her fur stays black. Her Triforce will not be revealed. That comes out in a story called 'Fourth Protector.' Or, a story with a title along those lines.**

**Naia: Top secret. She is my version of Sheik. If you want to know more, read 'Clandestine Quest'. End of discussion.**

**Zelda: . . . . Yeah, she's a prune, so far. Useless Princess that does nothing but wimp, in this story. And this Zelda doesn't belong to any of the games; just a random Zelda I made up. Besides, how can there be a proper Zelda when she doesn't even wield the Triforce of Wisdom?**

**Destined Hero: Dead. His name was 'Link', but he belonged to no game, so please, don't be mean. He was just a figurehead I needed for the prologue of 'Clandestine Quest' he's not the Link everyone of us loves. Just a random guy named Link.**

**The lines: You will see when I post this story up in the far, distant future. In other words, Top Secret.**

**The list of monsters Link explains to Zelda: They, are the montsers Link and his friends have to fight In CQ. You have _no_ idea what I have planned for them. It's just so exciting . . . ! Full explanations if you keep or start _and_ keep reading CQ.**

**Now, I believe that that is all the explaining needed. If you feel unsatisfied, please leave a review/feedback on this one shot, and as an extra, add in a question. I will message you back once I read the reviews. **

**Thank you, and R&R!! ;)**

**SS**


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